I love my job, it never feels like work. I have been there for four years and counting.
I planned a career there!
I had a lot of respect for the company I work for and value the ethics and integrity of it. I have spent four years of training to move ahead into a full career there and loved every minute of it. Sure, there were days I would be worn out and wonder why, why was I doing it? But I still looked forward to the challenges of a new day. Looked forward to the solutions of the challenges each day brought with it. Yes, the money is good, but, by far the greatest part was the opportunities it allowed me.
Every day I looked forward to going in! The people there were part of my extended family. It was there I went when my mom was sick and dying for the comfort of friends. It was there I went when I felt sad or lonely, happy or excited, I shared my life there each and every day.
So this "new me" the happy me, the part of me which no one there has seen before took everyone by surprise. One of my coworkers said one time "it is great to hear you laugh, really laugh" "it is great to see you happy." I did not realize how much they paid attention to my sadness, to my emptiness. One of my coworkers said to me "we wanted you to be happy! We didn't want you to leave to do so" There in lies the dilemma!
I can't have it both! Distance is too far, a five and a half hour commute is beyond reason, and the closest store is still a two and a half hour drive.
So! A choice had to be made!
A choice I dreaded like the plague I wanted it both. Why could I not have it all? Who said? Where was it written I had to choose. For about two weeks I struggled with the idea of having to give up my job. What would I do? How do I choose?
One minute I was ready to chuck it all and move, in the very next second I wanted to keep my job.
How to decide? My job has made me what I am now and would I lose that if I stopped working? How would I be able not to go into the only place which made me feel good? How do I give up all the friendships I have formed there? Could I even do that? It felt as if I was giving up such a big part of me. For what? A relationship? Something I was never really good at anyway! Can I, or better yet will I be able to take this chance on love? Even a love so deep it has lasted for thirty eight years?
I soul searched, with his help, without any pressure from him. He would agree to anything I wanted. A love that strong for me is unbelievable. He just wanted me to be happy!
I struggled, would I resent the relationship if I gave up everything? Would I resent him? In the future would I change into a monster because I had given up such a big part of me? Would I resent my career and not enjoy it so much if I gave him up? Would it have the same meaning to me after giving up the love of my life? Was it possible I would leave it anyway in the future and then have neither?
Through the soul searching I did learn a lot about myself. I realized as much as I loved my job and career I loved him more. It was at that minute I decided there was not a dilemma at all.
When I sit quiet and ponder my future I see him there, not a job or a career, but HIM! I have learned that when something exciting happens I want to talk to HIM! If I am upset or sad I want to talk to HIM!
As I look forward I can only imagine a life full of this man I have love so deeply, not a job, or even a career. As I picture my life, in my minds eye, I see the things, we, as a team will do. I understand now the love of a lifetime which is not going to be lost this time. This is our time and nothing is going to take it away from me. I have decided to follow my own advice and follow my heart and soul.
Bittersweet I call it! I realize in an instant he is way more important to me, and I look to a life filled with him. Following my heart instead of my head is difficult, for the first time in my life I am able to support myself and live on my own. A life I have longed for. A career which I enjoy! People I respect! and yes I am chucking it all to follow my heart!
Because the bottom line is that I love him much, much more than my job. So there ends up not to be a dilemma at all! There is only one choice in the world for me. Get moving and pack up everything and move on. Move up to the mountain with the man I have loved all my adult life. Make it real and official, and be happier than I have been all my life.
And as always I thank God every waking minute he is back in my life. I thank God for the strength to do what I must to begin our lives together. I also look forward to a future filled with love and compassion! To a home filled with all the happiness we have to be together, without the need for anything else but each other!
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Just when all is planned, CRASH BOOM BAM
Driving home from work one night about a month ago listening to Delilah on the radio, feeling really sad and excited with the fact that I was going to build a life for myself. I did think how nice it would be to have someone to share it with however, it was not a requirement. Actually kind of excited with the idea I had no one to answer to, no one to think about if I wanted to move to another state, and was contemplating a big move to the state of Alaska. Looked like a fun place to go and was putting the plans in motion.
Delilah has callers calling with these love stories which usually melt my heart. This night there was a man calling, a voice full of love and emotion, catching my attention. He had been "reconnected" to a woman from his past, some thirty years from his past. I was able to hear the tears in his voice. He was so exceptionally happy and his voice told the story. They had dated while very young and for some reason had gone separate ways. He really did not know why and had thought about her for all those years. One day they happen to cross paths and the rest is history. They found they still loved each other, married and have been living incredibly happy since.
My mind wondered to the man I had dated in my early twenties and as I was fifty-six now thought if we would be that lucky. Over the years I had often thought about him and wondered how he was, was he happy, did he have a family? He was a wonderful man, exceptional human being, and I had cared for him immensely, yes and still did. It was at times like that I realized how much I still did care for him and missed him. I had not allowed myself to go back to those intense feelings, EVER.
I had tried to look him up when I moved back to my home town. When I mentioned it to my mother she had heard he was shot while on duty as a police officer, and had passed away. I looked on the Internet for something, nothing. I often started to the police station he worked at but always stopped myself, partly for fear he was actually gone and partly for fear he was happily married. Not that I would have been unhappy for him but more sad for myself. All I ever wanted since we had lost touch was for him to be happy, he was well deserving.
So as I listened to the story on the radio melancholy set in and my mind wondered to thoughts of him and how nice it would be if he was alive and came back into my life. Would we, or could we pick up right where we left off? Was there a possibility he was alive and single? Believing as I do in "the other side" and being able to hear from people who have crossed over, I thought 'are you looking down on me?' Do you see me here thinking about you? Have you met up with all the others I know who crossed over?
I asked for answers from the Universe one way or the other. Sent it out! Knowing some how, some where the answers would come. Believing he had passed I expected to here verification of that. I finished my drive home and did not really think about it anymore.
I was excited about vacation, not that I was going anywhere, just for a whole week off. Catch up on things sell my eBay and Etsy try to do some writing and sorting out what to sell and what to save for the move coming.
Excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I knew in my heart it was time for a move I just liked my job a lot and hated to think about leaving it. I did look for a store on the way to transfer to. Thinking that was the way to go, just follow the transfers across the country. Sightseeing along the way, cure two pleasures at once. Keep my job which I really love and move around at the same time. Since I am basically a loner it was exciting. Just me and my cats off on the adventures of a life time. I am not sure they would think the same way though.
But then!!! The universe stepped in and gave me the answer I was not expecting in a most unexpected way.
Surprised? The biggest understatement of a lifetime. I sat and contemplated what to do next.
Not sure I wanted the answers! Not sure if I could ignore the answer!
Boy was I afraid, more like petrified to know for sure.
The Universe in it's funny way sends messages in different ways, this one came by the way of a Facebook message.
A message from his sister-in-law looking for me. Irony in that is we went to high school together and she 'wanted to reconnect', not sure I was up to that I waited almost seven days to answer her.
Partly fear, partly excited anticipation.
But in reality, in my heart, in my core I know what it was and had to laugh.
I had just made a conscious effort to move forward in my life and CRASH, BOOM, BAM! The Universe laughed and changed that.
Stay tuned for the next part......................................
Delilah has callers calling with these love stories which usually melt my heart. This night there was a man calling, a voice full of love and emotion, catching my attention. He had been "reconnected" to a woman from his past, some thirty years from his past. I was able to hear the tears in his voice. He was so exceptionally happy and his voice told the story. They had dated while very young and for some reason had gone separate ways. He really did not know why and had thought about her for all those years. One day they happen to cross paths and the rest is history. They found they still loved each other, married and have been living incredibly happy since.
My mind wondered to the man I had dated in my early twenties and as I was fifty-six now thought if we would be that lucky. Over the years I had often thought about him and wondered how he was, was he happy, did he have a family? He was a wonderful man, exceptional human being, and I had cared for him immensely, yes and still did. It was at times like that I realized how much I still did care for him and missed him. I had not allowed myself to go back to those intense feelings, EVER.
I had tried to look him up when I moved back to my home town. When I mentioned it to my mother she had heard he was shot while on duty as a police officer, and had passed away. I looked on the Internet for something, nothing. I often started to the police station he worked at but always stopped myself, partly for fear he was actually gone and partly for fear he was happily married. Not that I would have been unhappy for him but more sad for myself. All I ever wanted since we had lost touch was for him to be happy, he was well deserving.
So as I listened to the story on the radio melancholy set in and my mind wondered to thoughts of him and how nice it would be if he was alive and came back into my life. Would we, or could we pick up right where we left off? Was there a possibility he was alive and single? Believing as I do in "the other side" and being able to hear from people who have crossed over, I thought 'are you looking down on me?' Do you see me here thinking about you? Have you met up with all the others I know who crossed over?
I asked for answers from the Universe one way or the other. Sent it out! Knowing some how, some where the answers would come. Believing he had passed I expected to here verification of that. I finished my drive home and did not really think about it anymore.
I was excited about vacation, not that I was going anywhere, just for a whole week off. Catch up on things sell my eBay and Etsy try to do some writing and sorting out what to sell and what to save for the move coming.
Excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I knew in my heart it was time for a move I just liked my job a lot and hated to think about leaving it. I did look for a store on the way to transfer to. Thinking that was the way to go, just follow the transfers across the country. Sightseeing along the way, cure two pleasures at once. Keep my job which I really love and move around at the same time. Since I am basically a loner it was exciting. Just me and my cats off on the adventures of a life time. I am not sure they would think the same way though.
But then!!! The universe stepped in and gave me the answer I was not expecting in a most unexpected way.
Surprised? The biggest understatement of a lifetime. I sat and contemplated what to do next.
Not sure I wanted the answers! Not sure if I could ignore the answer!
Boy was I afraid, more like petrified to know for sure.
The Universe in it's funny way sends messages in different ways, this one came by the way of a Facebook message.
A message from his sister-in-law looking for me. Irony in that is we went to high school together and she 'wanted to reconnect', not sure I was up to that I waited almost seven days to answer her.
Partly fear, partly excited anticipation.
But in reality, in my heart, in my core I know what it was and had to laugh.
I had just made a conscious effort to move forward in my life and CRASH, BOOM, BAM! The Universe laughed and changed that.
Stay tuned for the next part......................................
Monday, June 10, 2013
Being in the right place at the right time
A little email from one of my most favorite sites Totally Unique Thoughts http://www.tut.com
I have subscribed to the site for almost ten years now and get daily emails from them. When I feel really out of touch I read them and remember who is really in charge.
Being in the right place at the right time, Susan, isn't something you can force.
It just happens when you keep busy. Effortlessly.
Imagine that,
The Universe
No, really! Imagine that, Susan! And then get busy, because AMAZING awaits!
As I sit and think about what I really want, becoming very introspect I realize there is no one I have to ask permission from, no one I have to consult, and no one I have to wait to see if they want to do 'it' also.
I realize if I want to move I can, if I want to stay I can, and if I want to move all the way across the country I can!!
What a beautiful feeling. So now the fear I have had about being alone is going away and excitement is taking over. The entire country is open to me and I can go anywhere in I want.
A few of my thoughts have been to the midwest, the west coast of Oregon or Washington State. My ultimate goal will be to end up in Alaska. I have always wanted to live in Alaska for as long as I can remember. Funny, since I am always cold in New Jersey and wear long johns, actually cuddle duds, girly long johns, all year except for a few weeks in August. But then I wore jeans in Florida, alot.
My fasination with Alaska started with watching about Eskimo's and their way of life. So simple, not easy but simple. They hold on to their traditions and pass them on to the new generations even with the new world coming in.
Now with all the new shows on television about Alaska the allure is getting stronger but, I think it takes a special kind of person to live in the extremes of the Northern Slope, no, I don't want to live in the cities of Alaska. One of the new shows has a remote camp and it looks like I want to find one just like it, or uniquely similar. I can honestly say it looks exciting and I plan on visiting there with in the next year. I want to see Barrow, Alaska also, the northern most point. I have been to the southern most point in Key West, Florida, lived in Marathon which is about an hour drive away and loved it. Circumstances moved me from there, which in the end was the correct path to be on, I realize that now and that part of my journey ended with me learning alot as usual. We learn on all legs of our journey.
The tools I learned there will help me to move on to the next phase. I learned we don't really need 'stuff' to be happy. As I lay on the floor devistated, I realized stuff was just stuff! It is the people in our lives that matter and all the things we amass are worthless, it is the people we meet and travel with for different lengths of time that matter, even to me, the ultimate loner.
I believe we all travel through each others lives for centuries in different lives and true souls that are matched find each other in different physical bodies over eons of time. I also believe people can know each other even if they have not met. On some level of our soul we know we are on the same wave length even if we are not on the same page in this life.
Please don't forget about my other blog http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com/ and as always
Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 and eBay http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio
Enjoy this leg of any journey you are on remember it is wonderful.
I have subscribed to the site for almost ten years now and get daily emails from them. When I feel really out of touch I read them and remember who is really in charge.
Being in the right place at the right time, Susan, isn't something you can force.
It just happens when you keep busy. Effortlessly.
Imagine that,
The Universe
No, really! Imagine that, Susan! And then get busy, because AMAZING awaits!
As I sit and think about what I really want, becoming very introspect I realize there is no one I have to ask permission from, no one I have to consult, and no one I have to wait to see if they want to do 'it' also.
I realize if I want to move I can, if I want to stay I can, and if I want to move all the way across the country I can!!
What a beautiful feeling. So now the fear I have had about being alone is going away and excitement is taking over. The entire country is open to me and I can go anywhere in I want.
A few of my thoughts have been to the midwest, the west coast of Oregon or Washington State. My ultimate goal will be to end up in Alaska. I have always wanted to live in Alaska for as long as I can remember. Funny, since I am always cold in New Jersey and wear long johns, actually cuddle duds, girly long johns, all year except for a few weeks in August. But then I wore jeans in Florida, alot.
My fasination with Alaska started with watching about Eskimo's and their way of life. So simple, not easy but simple. They hold on to their traditions and pass them on to the new generations even with the new world coming in.
Now with all the new shows on television about Alaska the allure is getting stronger but, I think it takes a special kind of person to live in the extremes of the Northern Slope, no, I don't want to live in the cities of Alaska. One of the new shows has a remote camp and it looks like I want to find one just like it, or uniquely similar. I can honestly say it looks exciting and I plan on visiting there with in the next year. I want to see Barrow, Alaska also, the northern most point. I have been to the southern most point in Key West, Florida, lived in Marathon which is about an hour drive away and loved it. Circumstances moved me from there, which in the end was the correct path to be on, I realize that now and that part of my journey ended with me learning alot as usual. We learn on all legs of our journey.
The tools I learned there will help me to move on to the next phase. I learned we don't really need 'stuff' to be happy. As I lay on the floor devistated, I realized stuff was just stuff! It is the people in our lives that matter and all the things we amass are worthless, it is the people we meet and travel with for different lengths of time that matter, even to me, the ultimate loner.
I believe we all travel through each others lives for centuries in different lives and true souls that are matched find each other in different physical bodies over eons of time. I also believe people can know each other even if they have not met. On some level of our soul we know we are on the same wave length even if we are not on the same page in this life.
Please don't forget about my other blog http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com/ and as always
Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 and eBay http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio
Enjoy this leg of any journey you are on remember it is wonderful.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
The next leg of this journey
I sit here and wonder what the next leg of this journey will be. It seems that God always puts me where I need to be, either for my growth or for someone I need to support through a tough situation. I, as I have aged know it could only be for a very short time, or could be for years. I never know how long each part of the journey will be. What I do know is that is always a learning experience.
This past year and a half has been a very large transition and learning period. I have learned what I need and what I do not need.
I have been sorting out what I want and what I think is expected of me, which are two very different things. I am a very simple person and do not like or need a lot of pretenses. I don't need to keep up with anyone else. I am very happy with a simple life. I joined match.com and eharmony.com thinking I wanted to find another person to share with. What a joke. For the past two weeks since I signed up I have looked at hundreds of pictures and realized I do not like people because of their looks, and only those who really know me know this. I look at eyes and there is where I find the connection. It always seems as if I can look into their sould and feel the connection. Most of the time I do not see the outside of the person I see the inside, the heart and the soul, and that is how I decide who will be in my life.
I am glad I have these qualities and cherish them everyday. To me it does not matter if they are male or female, because if we take the vehicle we call a body or male/female away we are all the same. Like a car or a house it just houses the greatest part of anyone. We need the physical manisfestation to be able to travel the journey, as we need transportation to get from point a to point b in the physical world.
As much as I know I have no control over the next part of the journey, in the same way I want to know what it will be and where it will take me.
I know I do not need to prepare for it because I will be provided with everything I will need to complete the leg. The trip is usually a need to know and some, no, maybe most of the time I never know even in hindsight the answers are not always clear.
I do know there is a reason for everything and everyone who passes through our lives when they do. I believe if we meditate and sit in the stillness we can get a vague image of it.
I started this blog when my mom passed basically to make much needed money but, that has not worked out as planned. Now it has become a way of trying to figure out this life or to maybe just help someone else understand ultimately we do not have control. We are able to stunt the growth or to pospone the ultimate reason we are here, however we are and will have to complete the reason we are here.
Please visit my other blog sites http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com/, my ebay http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio or etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 site. I sell jewelry on those sites. If you feel the need to contact me my email address is suep2004@comcast.net . Looking forward to hearing from someone.
This past year and a half has been a very large transition and learning period. I have learned what I need and what I do not need.
I have been sorting out what I want and what I think is expected of me, which are two very different things. I am a very simple person and do not like or need a lot of pretenses. I don't need to keep up with anyone else. I am very happy with a simple life. I joined match.com and eharmony.com thinking I wanted to find another person to share with. What a joke. For the past two weeks since I signed up I have looked at hundreds of pictures and realized I do not like people because of their looks, and only those who really know me know this. I look at eyes and there is where I find the connection. It always seems as if I can look into their sould and feel the connection. Most of the time I do not see the outside of the person I see the inside, the heart and the soul, and that is how I decide who will be in my life.
I am glad I have these qualities and cherish them everyday. To me it does not matter if they are male or female, because if we take the vehicle we call a body or male/female away we are all the same. Like a car or a house it just houses the greatest part of anyone. We need the physical manisfestation to be able to travel the journey, as we need transportation to get from point a to point b in the physical world.
As much as I know I have no control over the next part of the journey, in the same way I want to know what it will be and where it will take me.
I know I do not need to prepare for it because I will be provided with everything I will need to complete the leg. The trip is usually a need to know and some, no, maybe most of the time I never know even in hindsight the answers are not always clear.
I do know there is a reason for everything and everyone who passes through our lives when they do. I believe if we meditate and sit in the stillness we can get a vague image of it.
I started this blog when my mom passed basically to make much needed money but, that has not worked out as planned. Now it has become a way of trying to figure out this life or to maybe just help someone else understand ultimately we do not have control. We are able to stunt the growth or to pospone the ultimate reason we are here, however we are and will have to complete the reason we are here.
Please visit my other blog sites http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com/, my ebay http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio or etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 site. I sell jewelry on those sites. If you feel the need to contact me my email address is suep2004@comcast.net . Looking forward to hearing from someone.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
The tale of the Eisenhower Dollar!
The tale of the Eisenhower Dollar!
This afternoon I am feeling kind of hopeless and laying on the couch feeling alone, not lonely mind you. I can say I very, very rarely feel lonely. I needed to buy cream for my coffee and having only Eisenhower coin dollars I had received as tips years ago, I went to Wawa and took two of the dollars with a quarter I found at the bottom of my purse feeling full of self pity for the situation I have gotten myself into. Knowing nobody uses them anymore and the cashiers usually look at them and have to think about them a minute. I walk up to the register feeling very uncomfortable spending them.
I just know that everyone thinks, 'she is spending them cause she is broke.' True I am broke, broker than I have ever been, with no where to turn for help. The cashier rings up my cream, all the time chatting with another girl that works there, not really paying attention to me until I embarassingly had her the two coin dollars and the one quarter.
Feeling mortified that I had to spend those dollars.
I hand her the coins and she becomes very excited and stated 'oh, I have to buy these for my mother! She will be thrilled!' She was so happy to have them to make her mother happy about those two coins.
With that one statement my glum mood lifts and I am reminded of the time years ago when I would go to a table after I had waited on a very kind couple and there would be an 'Eisenhower Dollar.' I can still see the couple like it was yesterday and in actuality some twenty plus years have passed. They were kind and easy to serve as I went through my day in the diner I worked. I can remember we all wished we would get the couple just so we could get the very large coin, because as a waitress we would not spend it. It was one way we could save.
In that very minute as I walked out of Wawa with my cream I went from feeling broke and poor, and embarressed, to feeling hope and happiness. Happy because I made her feel so very happy. I was actually smiling as I left the store picturing the look on the cashier's face as she hands them to her mother. The look of pride on her mother's face for the great child she has raised!
My walk felt lighter and I felt as if a million pound weight of gloom and doom has lifted off my shoulders. No, none of my problems have been solved! No, I did not sell anything on eBay which I so desperately need to do! No, I did not find the three hundred dollars I need to have before Monday comes! No, nothing in the physical world had changed at all! What did change was my outlook on how I see things and I loose the hopelessness I felt before I went to buy a simple pint of cream for my coffee! The self pity and aloneness I felt before I drove that simple mile to the store!
Sadly, the cashier will probably never know how her reaction changed my entire day. Reminded me to have faith in the midst of the darkness and to know the Universal order of things always knows what we need when we need it the most.
Follw the link this http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio to look over my eBay merchandise and maybe buy a thing or two to help me make my three hundred dollars I need by Monday.
Thank You for listening.
This afternoon I am feeling kind of hopeless and laying on the couch feeling alone, not lonely mind you. I can say I very, very rarely feel lonely. I needed to buy cream for my coffee and having only Eisenhower coin dollars I had received as tips years ago, I went to Wawa and took two of the dollars with a quarter I found at the bottom of my purse feeling full of self pity for the situation I have gotten myself into. Knowing nobody uses them anymore and the cashiers usually look at them and have to think about them a minute. I walk up to the register feeling very uncomfortable spending them.
I just know that everyone thinks, 'she is spending them cause she is broke.' True I am broke, broker than I have ever been, with no where to turn for help. The cashier rings up my cream, all the time chatting with another girl that works there, not really paying attention to me until I embarassingly had her the two coin dollars and the one quarter.
Feeling mortified that I had to spend those dollars.
I hand her the coins and she becomes very excited and stated 'oh, I have to buy these for my mother! She will be thrilled!' She was so happy to have them to make her mother happy about those two coins.
With that one statement my glum mood lifts and I am reminded of the time years ago when I would go to a table after I had waited on a very kind couple and there would be an 'Eisenhower Dollar.' I can still see the couple like it was yesterday and in actuality some twenty plus years have passed. They were kind and easy to serve as I went through my day in the diner I worked. I can remember we all wished we would get the couple just so we could get the very large coin, because as a waitress we would not spend it. It was one way we could save.
In that very minute as I walked out of Wawa with my cream I went from feeling broke and poor, and embarressed, to feeling hope and happiness. Happy because I made her feel so very happy. I was actually smiling as I left the store picturing the look on the cashier's face as she hands them to her mother. The look of pride on her mother's face for the great child she has raised!
My walk felt lighter and I felt as if a million pound weight of gloom and doom has lifted off my shoulders. No, none of my problems have been solved! No, I did not sell anything on eBay which I so desperately need to do! No, I did not find the three hundred dollars I need to have before Monday comes! No, nothing in the physical world had changed at all! What did change was my outlook on how I see things and I loose the hopelessness I felt before I went to buy a simple pint of cream for my coffee! The self pity and aloneness I felt before I drove that simple mile to the store!
Sadly, the cashier will probably never know how her reaction changed my entire day. Reminded me to have faith in the midst of the darkness and to know the Universal order of things always knows what we need when we need it the most.
Follw the link this http://myworld.ebay.com/spovio to look over my eBay merchandise and maybe buy a thing or two to help me make my three hundred dollars I need by Monday.
Thank You for listening.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Living alone
Right now I am realizing, like an epiphany, I am a loner! I like being alone to follow the beat of my own drum. I am, for the most part the happiest I have ever been, I have a job I love, I am able to follow whatever thought which pops into my head.
Like writing these blogs.
I love the creativity I am allowed to write in them. I only hope someone reads them and is able to find inspiration in them. This blog which I am actually looking for a new title since 'starting over again' really does not encompass the scope of it. It needs a title which is catchy and interesting. It really has no theme except for the 'no theme' of it. I usually just blog about a single thought which pops into my head. Today's thought is about the peacefulness of being alone but not lonely.
I love ALONE!
I love waking up and having no one to answer to, since this is the first time I have been on my own for any more than a few months, I find I really love it. I love not having to please anyone else, not having to answer to anyone but myself, and not having any decisions made for me. I can eat what and when I want Right now it is almost a year and I am just starting to get into a routine of discipline to accomplish all I want to accomplish now. The down side is I have no one to blame for any of my mistakes.
I am really busy right now. I have three blogs http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com , http://gamblinggirl.blogspot.com/, two web pages,
I have a store on Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012?ref=si and all my listings on eBay http://www.ebay.com/sch/spovio/m.html?item=121035952738&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562. AND I still work full time. I guess one of the things I am finding out about myself is I like being busy and at the same time I do not like anyone I see every day to really know how busy I am. I don't, for the most part tell anyone about these writings I do. I talk about them but I do not elaborate on them. The insecurity of thinking I do not write enjoyable enough for anyone to really like these makes me keep quiet about them. I enjoy writing and posting and hope someone reads them and finds some type of inspiration in them, but the fear of ridicule stops me from promoting my writings. Silly as it sounds, I am sure there are alot of people who have the same fears and insecurities. What am learning as I get older is to not take it all so serious and just to have fun with life.
I am trying to find a catchy name for this blog so it reaches more people. Any suggestions?
Like writing these blogs.
I love the creativity I am allowed to write in them. I only hope someone reads them and is able to find inspiration in them. This blog which I am actually looking for a new title since 'starting over again' really does not encompass the scope of it. It needs a title which is catchy and interesting. It really has no theme except for the 'no theme' of it. I usually just blog about a single thought which pops into my head. Today's thought is about the peacefulness of being alone but not lonely.
I love ALONE!
I love waking up and having no one to answer to, since this is the first time I have been on my own for any more than a few months, I find I really love it. I love not having to please anyone else, not having to answer to anyone but myself, and not having any decisions made for me. I can eat what and when I want Right now it is almost a year and I am just starting to get into a routine of discipline to accomplish all I want to accomplish now. The down side is I have no one to blame for any of my mistakes.
I am really busy right now. I have three blogs http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com , http://gamblinggirl.blogspot.com/, two web pages,
I have a store on Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012?ref=si and all my listings on eBay http://www.ebay.com/sch/spovio/m.html?item=121035952738&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562. AND I still work full time. I guess one of the things I am finding out about myself is I like being busy and at the same time I do not like anyone I see every day to really know how busy I am. I don't, for the most part tell anyone about these writings I do. I talk about them but I do not elaborate on them. The insecurity of thinking I do not write enjoyable enough for anyone to really like these makes me keep quiet about them. I enjoy writing and posting and hope someone reads them and finds some type of inspiration in them, but the fear of ridicule stops me from promoting my writings. Silly as it sounds, I am sure there are alot of people who have the same fears and insecurities. What am learning as I get older is to not take it all so serious and just to have fun with life.
I am trying to find a catchy name for this blog so it reaches more people. Any suggestions?
Thursday, December 6, 2012
I AM Doing it!
I am making it!
This is the longest time I have lived alone, the longest time I have had to pay my own bills! And I, me alone, am doing it. In the past someone else always paid the bills, or in the case with my mom she put the bills on the computer and I paid what she told me to, I did not really have a clue to any of it. Yeah she tried to teach me and I would pretend to listen. I had a general idea but, no actual knowledge to budget and be prepared for a bill bigger than my paycheck. Now I am happy to say I am learning all of that. Difficult yes, complicated yes, but not undo able.
I am also making more bracelets some are selling which is exciting and can be seen at my other blog site. Follow the like: http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com which has links to my eBay listings. Or on Etsy follow the link: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 Visit the sites and look around, on the Etsy site there is a button if a custom item is desired or you can email me at suep2004@comcast.net with any questions.
I am doing what I always wanted to do. I am creating something which I hope make people feel good. I now have an idea to create 'beat the habit' bracelets or a type of prayer bead to inspire a break the addiction or habit of anything. They are going to encompass the same idea of the cancer awareness bracelets. The colors will belong to or represent a habit or addiction the user wants to break. Stay tuned to the blog http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com for the products.
I at this point in my life excited about how I am doing. I do have to say that the law of attraction is at play here. I ask or wish if you want, for an idea to create something unique and it comes at the craziest times. I try to carry a piece of paper and writing instrument with me so I do not forget the idea. Sometimes I use my hand, the notepad I am never without, I do not recommend it to anyone but it works for me.
This is for anyone who thinks they cannot do it on their own phooey! I am and for anyone who said I could not. I am proving them wrong, I am making it. I am happier now than any point in my life. I do not have to depend on anyone but myself. How much better can it get than that?
Stay tuned for the new line of products coming soon and they will be listed and pictures on my blog Sue's Lady Bug Jewelry. Which is the name I picked out five years ago when I started, talk about the 'Law of Attraction' I thought it, I worked at it even when there was no reason to believe it would come true. The key here is I believed it. I continued to believe, and still believe it will be bigger than I can imagine. My future is bright because I believe it will be. And the idea of believing gives the way to creating anything. I am proof.
So this post is about the idea of I AM doing exactly what I want to do, what makes my heart and soul feel great. I hope anyone reading this does not give up on their dreams and is so naive they do not know they can fail. My biggest inspiration is my son, ironically he and his wife are never afraid to fail. They have dreams and ideas which sound so silly to me and I am sorry to say, I tell him so. Thankfully it does not stop them they keep believing and they create their dreams. Hats off to my son and his wife for being my inspiration even if they do not know it. I love them both.
This is the longest time I have lived alone, the longest time I have had to pay my own bills! And I, me alone, am doing it. In the past someone else always paid the bills, or in the case with my mom she put the bills on the computer and I paid what she told me to, I did not really have a clue to any of it. Yeah she tried to teach me and I would pretend to listen. I had a general idea but, no actual knowledge to budget and be prepared for a bill bigger than my paycheck. Now I am happy to say I am learning all of that. Difficult yes, complicated yes, but not undo able.
I am also making more bracelets some are selling which is exciting and can be seen at my other blog site. Follow the like: http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com which has links to my eBay listings. Or on Etsy follow the link: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Suestreasures2012 Visit the sites and look around, on the Etsy site there is a button if a custom item is desired or you can email me at suep2004@comcast.net with any questions.
I am doing what I always wanted to do. I am creating something which I hope make people feel good. I now have an idea to create 'beat the habit' bracelets or a type of prayer bead to inspire a break the addiction or habit of anything. They are going to encompass the same idea of the cancer awareness bracelets. The colors will belong to or represent a habit or addiction the user wants to break. Stay tuned to the blog http://suesladybugjewelry.blogspot.com for the products.
I at this point in my life excited about how I am doing. I do have to say that the law of attraction is at play here. I ask or wish if you want, for an idea to create something unique and it comes at the craziest times. I try to carry a piece of paper and writing instrument with me so I do not forget the idea. Sometimes I use my hand, the notepad I am never without, I do not recommend it to anyone but it works for me.
This is for anyone who thinks they cannot do it on their own phooey! I am and for anyone who said I could not. I am proving them wrong, I am making it. I am happier now than any point in my life. I do not have to depend on anyone but myself. How much better can it get than that?
Stay tuned for the new line of products coming soon and they will be listed and pictures on my blog Sue's Lady Bug Jewelry. Which is the name I picked out five years ago when I started, talk about the 'Law of Attraction' I thought it, I worked at it even when there was no reason to believe it would come true. The key here is I believed it. I continued to believe, and still believe it will be bigger than I can imagine. My future is bright because I believe it will be. And the idea of believing gives the way to creating anything. I am proof.
So this post is about the idea of I AM doing exactly what I want to do, what makes my heart and soul feel great. I hope anyone reading this does not give up on their dreams and is so naive they do not know they can fail. My biggest inspiration is my son, ironically he and his wife are never afraid to fail. They have dreams and ideas which sound so silly to me and I am sorry to say, I tell him so. Thankfully it does not stop them they keep believing and they create their dreams. Hats off to my son and his wife for being my inspiration even if they do not know it. I love them both.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Following your path
Today things are just getting better and better. I am learning more each day, more of how to keep all the positive thoughts in my concsious thoughts, which in turn keep them in the unconscious also. I remember to always check my favorite email from www.tut.com , 'Totally unique thoughts' always full of positive thoughts and reminding everything in my head and thoughts come true. I am learning more and more how to give up control and just go with the flow of life.
I finally realize I almost have the life I always wanted! I live alone I have two cats who are always glad to see me. I have a job I really enjoy and make decent money, I started selling my bracelets on www.ebay.com and am making a little money there, and now I am blogging. Which is really writing which I have always really wanted to do. I hope someone out there is enjoying this. Even better I hope my positive inspiration will help them as all the web sites on the Internet have helped me through the years. This is not meant to change any ones life but mine, my only hope is it will make them know they can do anything they want.
To do anything I want was always stifled by the people around me with the words, 'get real' you need to have a real job. The people we look to most for the support are usually the ones who try to tell us it can't be done. Ironically they are the same people now who I want to prove wrong. This blog is meant to be a way for anyone wanting to do something all the people around them told them was impossible. I have learned that nothing is impossible if we want it bad enough. We just have to put all those thought aside and follow our hearts and do what we know in our souls is right for us...
Until tomorrow, or maybe in a couple of hours, think only positive thoughts and know that we are right where we are supposed to be and doing what we are supposed be doing at any given time. We all have a path to follow on our journey and we are always on the correct one, the trick is to just believe it and have the faith.
I finally realize I almost have the life I always wanted! I live alone I have two cats who are always glad to see me. I have a job I really enjoy and make decent money, I started selling my bracelets on www.ebay.com and am making a little money there, and now I am blogging. Which is really writing which I have always really wanted to do. I hope someone out there is enjoying this. Even better I hope my positive inspiration will help them as all the web sites on the Internet have helped me through the years. This is not meant to change any ones life but mine, my only hope is it will make them know they can do anything they want.
To do anything I want was always stifled by the people around me with the words, 'get real' you need to have a real job. The people we look to most for the support are usually the ones who try to tell us it can't be done. Ironically they are the same people now who I want to prove wrong. This blog is meant to be a way for anyone wanting to do something all the people around them told them was impossible. I have learned that nothing is impossible if we want it bad enough. We just have to put all those thought aside and follow our hearts and do what we know in our souls is right for us...
Until tomorrow, or maybe in a couple of hours, think only positive thoughts and know that we are right where we are supposed to be and doing what we are supposed be doing at any given time. We all have a path to follow on our journey and we are always on the correct one, the trick is to just believe it and have the faith.
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