Those five days are over

Driving there after those five days I had time to think about the separation.
What a long five days! He was there and I was here.
It was this separation where I realized, more than I did before, I could not live without him. It was so much more difficult this time, after just spending all those days together.
I wondered how I was ever going to make it through these days. I, by now had become used to him being there!  Loved having him there! What a warming feeling to pull around the corner and see the truck, to know he was there waiting for me. For ME!
Every day as I came home from a long day at work, which felt so much longer now, he was there with a hug telling me how happy he was to see me! Never have I ever wanted anyone to be there as I did now. Now I wanted to get out of work and race home to be with HIM! The fun we had! The laughs we shared!
 It was lonely! and I have never been lonely! I have never had a sense of loneliness, I enjoyed being alone and was perfectly happy. This odd feeling, this loneliness I was feeling now was abnormal to me.
I knew he had to go 'home' it was an important weekend for him and his family. His son, set to propose to his girlfriend. The whole family was to be there! I knew I should have been there and he told me that many times. He told me how much he wanted me to be there. But at the same time he knew I needed to stay and finish out my time at work, hard as it was to be separated now, again, after so many years apart.
How difficult it was for me to not be there on such an important day for them!
It was at that minute I realized how if I decided to keep my job and try to work out a long term solution for the distance I would come to resent my job! Funny, even how much I loved my job I would resent it and wish everyday I was there. It was then I knew I had to forgo my career and follow my heart and give in to the love I have for this man who I had loved for oh so long.
My phone started with messages and pictures of the proposal, how sad I was that I was not there to share in the special day. There would never be another day as this and I missed it.
I missed the feeling of pride my future husband had felt to watch his son propose to the love of his life.
While he was gone those days I realized I did not want to ever miss an important event in his life again, and that was far more important than any career I could have. More fulfilling than any type of work I could do. I realized in those five days I could not live without him!
As I drove the long five and half hours I had plenty of time to think!
Think about all those times in his life I had missed because we were so young and stupid back then. We did not have any idea what we gave up then. But, we do realize it now and we are not wasting any time now. We have made plans and were keeping it a secret!
We planned on getting married this time. We planned to be married alone!
Just the two of us! No one else to be concerned about.
A connection so deep it transcends time and distance!!
Getting closer to my destination meant I was getting closer to him! Closer to the person I loved!
I finally understood the true meaning of love, a love that was unconditional and defied explanation!